104: Eros and Psyche: The Psychology of Romantic Love with Dr. Stacey Shelby

Romantic relationships above all other forms of relationships seems to be where the deepest and most intense struggle presents itself.”  For Valentine’s Day, we have our 100th episode guest back again:  Dr. Stacey Shelby!  In this episode, Dr. Shelby describes the psychology of romantic love from a depth psychological perspective. Using the Greek myth of Eros (from the Greek word meaning love or desire) and Psyche (from the Greek word of soul, mind, & spirit) as a lens for understanding the meaning and purpose of romantic love, she describes how Psyche’s experiences 1) parallel our own responses to romantic love; 2)  deepen our understanding of the inevitable challenges of romantic love; and  3) summon us into intimate relationship with our inner selves.  Dr. Shelby is an author, speaker, educator and depth psychotherapist. She holds a Master’s and Ph.D. in Depth Psychology with a specialization in Jungian and Archetypal Studies. She teaches the Psychology of Romantic Love course at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Santa Barbara, California.   Dr. Shelby works with adults in various stages of personal transformation online and in person out of a thriving clinical practice in Squamish, British Columbia. She specializes in the symbolic language of the soul and aims to honor the soul as it presents itself in the lived experience of daily life.   To Keep up with Dr. Stacey Shelby:  http://drstaceyshelby.com/   https://www.facebook.com/DrStaceyShelby   https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-stacey-shelby-ph-d-rcc-8b249560/   https://twitter.com/stacey0shelby   Dr. Shelby in Episode 100:  Rediscovering the Wild Woman Archetype In this podcast, Dr. Viado and Dr. Stacey Shelby discuss: 
  • The myth of Eros and Psyche. 
  • How to understand the internal and external struggles within love.  
  • Benefits of forgiveness.  
  • Projection and soul remembrance.  
  • Making suffering more endurable. 
Time Stamps:  5:11 – Struggle with romantic love and decision to learn more  6:22 – Myth of Eros and Psyche  15:30 – External and internal pieces   17:57 – Romantic comedy movie structure   22:49 – Struggle to stay connected for women in love  25:37 – Learn forgiveness   27:08 – Projection of the Divine on another  30:41 – Soul remembrance   34:35 – Too analytical with projection  42:09 – Making meaning of suffering  Quotes:  2:45 “…generally speaking relationships and vocation are the two areas that people seem to come to clinical therapy for because they’re struggling the most. Romantic relationships above all other forms of relationships seems to be where the deepest and most intense struggle presents itself.”  15:46 “How do we demonstrate and express love of soul through our being, through our existence, through our presence. Outside of romantic love, but as an inner love…”  27:19 “…What we’re projecting is ourselves. So, that’s where it becomes, a projection means we see something in the other that’s actually within us. So, it’s maybe in the other to a certain degree… what we’re seeing in the other is actually something in us and it may be largely unconscious still.”  34:53 “We want to be walking a taut line or holding attention of not bringing in too much consciousness too quickly and yet also letting the love work on us, suffering work on us in order to bring about an expanded sense of self-awareness and self-consciousness.”  42:09 “I think if we can make meaning of the suffering … it makes the suffering so much more endurable. We’re not going to avoid the suffering, but if we can make meaning of it by going through the transformation process it will be infinitely more endurable.”