18: Crossing the Line: How an Extramarital Affair Begins with Nicolle Zapien, PhD, MFC
Posted: September 11, 2020
My guest today is Dr. Nicolle Zapien, psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and college professor at the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco, CA. Dr. Zapien talks about a topic that affects many people: infidelity. Specifically, we take a closer look at the process a person goes through when choosing to have an extramarital affair. Join us for this compelling conversation!
What you’ll hear in this episode:
- The questions that really matter about relationships usually involve betrayal and infidelity
- Why these issues matter SO much
- How to create a safe container for hurt feelings
- Why perception lies at the heart of the matter
- What is monogamy and what is betrayal?
- Why this area is difficult for therapists to address
- Nicolle’s research studies and findings
- The motivation to have an affair: the beginning
- Commonality: lackluster sex and connection
- Why one partner sees himself/herself as entitled to a novel experience
- “And then IT happened . . .”
- The process: a series of steps
- Being mindful of an erotic atmosphere
- Flirting: What is it and when is it dangerous?
- Nicolle’s sex educator certificate track, beginning in January!
- Why very few couples are able to work through these issues
- Why so many couples can’t negotiate eroticism safely
- How to teach negotiation through shared experiences and how technology HINDERS these skills